Oh Ye of little Faith, or Doubting Peter or Loosing it me

June 14, 2017                                                                                     Rebeccacreates2012@gmail.com  

Dear God,

This morning I read in your word from Matthew 14, verses 22-33.  These verses are so real to me because a bit ago I was on my way to work.  Now that may not sound like to much of a challenge for most, but for me on this particular day it was a bit of a challenge.

When I walk to work I have to walk thru a creek.  The Bermudian Creek.

The Bermudian Creek and my dog Louis

And on this particular day the creek was a bit high, higher than my muck boots. So as I was in the habit of doing I was singing a hymn, "I Walk Thru the Garden Alone," and I knew there was a tree down over the creek that I thought I could get across.  So I continued in my hymn sing as I traversed the creek on the log.

As I was getting close to the other side I realized due to the way that a branch came off of the tree that I would need to turn side ways to complete my task.  As I was starting to turn I stopped singing my praises to you father, and in that split second...SPLOSH...I was in the creek.

Wet up to my chest.  Obviously I had to go home and change...couldn't go to work like that!  And I realized what an amazing lesson I had just learned.  I took my eyes off of you Lord, for just that brief second and down I went, Just like Peter.

Now on with my study of your word Lord.  If you all out there in cyber land have read these verse you should be able to make the correlation in this story I just related to you.  This is about faith and trust and obedience.  for the SOAP part of this lesson I am using Matthew 14: 28-33.                          

28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. 29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? 32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. 33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God. King James Version (KJV) Public Domain O - Remember yesterday I said that these men are like us, well they are.  Peter took his eyes off of you Lord for just a split second, and he sank!, I SPLOSHED.  The rest of the men, once you got on board, were singing your praises.  But even they where not sure what you where until you were on board.  Then once they realized this was you. they lost their fear and believed once again. This demonstrates doubt or maybe even a bit of a lack of faith. A - Okay so I don't want to speak poorly of any of these men. I am just trying to show that they are like us, except that they have you with them. Tangibly with them.  We have you too, just not so tangibly. And that is why we call it faith. P - Father, I love you, and I so appreciate that you can bring your words together into a wonderful story.  A story that makes sense to us, and I bet if we think about our own different lives we can see these moments when we took our eyes off of you and got a dunking. Maybe not so literally as me but a dunking just the same.  Father thank you for giving us this ability to see you more plainly in all the we are and all the we do.  Help me to have my mind centered on you always. In your wonderful Son's name I speak these things, Amen

                          

Well all we are going to take a step in a different direction for just a little bit.
Come along on my journey with Loving God Greatly...

Rebecca K. Smith	Rebeccacreates2012@gmail.com

6/12/17

Dear God,

This morning I am studying a small portion of your word.  I am doing this with an organization call LGG or Loving God (you) Greatly. 

This morning we are looking at John 18:10; 13:5-9 and we are soaping John 13:8-9.

This portion of scripture deals with the relationship that your wonderful son Jesus, had with His disciples. You know God I can see everyday relationship in this light.  That is what you have been trying to teach us.

S-John 13:8-9 Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet.  Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.  Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. 

O-Jesus is speaking directly to Peter, of that we are sure, however, everyone else is also there and hearing the conversation. Meaning that while Christ is speaking directly to Peter, what is being said, all will learn from should they choose to learn this.

A- When I was younger I was tired of always fighting with my Dad about him not wanting to have gifts.  For his birthday, for Christmas, for Father’s Day, whatever the occasion might be.  And it was tiresome!  Finally, one day I said to him, “You know Daddy, we all need to be as gracious in receiving as we are in giving.”  He enjoyed giving but I believe it was to humbling for him to receive. And he had a hard time biting that bullet.  But he has.

P- Father help me to be gracious. Father help me to be a part of you always.  Father help me to always appreciate the words you have here for us to learn from.  God, you are so good to us all the time and we just don’t see it as often as we should.  You are always there and always watching over us.  Help us to see this and appreciate you and love you as to the best of our abilities and then some…Walk with me today and constantly be on my mind and in my heart.  In your precious name, I ask these things.  Amen

Warm regards,

 R. K. Smith

Rebecca K. Smith	Rebeccacreates2012@gmail.com

6/13/17

Dear God,

God your book is so amazing! And now with the technology we have we can take you with us all the time.  Thank you for this God.  Help me always to be a blessing to you and to others and to do so with grace and not mumbling or murmurings under my breath.

Thank you, Father, for all you do for us on a constant basis.

Today Lord, I am looking at Luke 5: 1-11 and I will SOAP verses 10 and 11.

I am sure if we all think a little bit we can remember this story.  It’s about Jesus talking to the multitudes, but He did it from a boat.  Jesus was so smart He knew that if He spoke to the crowd from on the lake that His voice would carry out and up to them.  He was standing in a well-built (by God) arena.  Great acoustics.

Plus, Jesus was in the beginning stages of picking His disciples. He shows us how doubtful we can be.  He says to Simon, “Let’s go out a little further and put out your nets.” And Simon says, “Hey we have worked hard all night and caught nothing and you want us to do it again…well okay.” We all remember what happens next! Simon did as Jesus asked and when they were bringing up their nets they were starting to rip, (that’s a lot of work, repairing those nets) so Simon called to his partners to come and help, they filled both boats…. but wait, here’s the best part….

Simon Peter says to Jesus, “Leave me, I am not worthy of you, I am a sinful man.”  He knows he doubted Jesus and he shouldn’t have.  Hmm…that sounds like me at times.

Simon, and James, and John were like me, where like us. But they did put down their nets and follow Jesus.  What is it that Jesus is calling us to put down to come and follow Him.  Or maybe He wants you right where you are and still follow Him.  Something to think about.

S- Okay now for my SOAP: Luke 5:10-11 And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.

11 And when they had brought their ships to land, they forsook all, and followed him.

O- Can you imagine?  Jesus didn’t need to order them, to drop what they were doing, they just knew that this was going to be their path.  Jesus told them, they were going to catch men from that time on. And they knew it was the truth.

A- So how can we apply this to our daily lives.  Listen, listen to that still and small voice that you hear in your mind or read on a sign. Or hear repeated several times from others.  Just listen, pay attention.

P-Father open my ears that I may hear, open my eyes that I might see, let me use all the senses that you have given to me that I may hear and feel your presence always.  I really want to hear you and I want to be your hands and feet to do the things that you would have me do.

Thank you, Father,

Rebecca  

Providence Chapter 5

We were living in a run down apartment building in Daytona Beach, Florida.  And when I say run down, that is perhaps an understatement.
I was living there with my mate, and I was pregnant.  Not my ideal place to have a baby, living there for me wasn't unpleasant, except when my other half drank hard liquor...some people just can not drink whiskey.  They become quite mean and nasty.  I wonder sometimes if he ever really thought about the things that he did to me when he was drunk out of his mind, especially before I was pregnant.                                        
Back to being pregnant. We arrived in Florida this time with an Austin Healey Sprite Mark 9, cute little car except we had to push it to start it. Oh the joys of being a rebel, I say that with tongue in check.  Well we arrived and were able to find a very "cheap" apartment and we had no more money.  So I was able to get rehired at a restaurant where I had previously worked as a hostess.  I didn't mind working at all, in fact I rather enjoyed it. At this point I was seven months along and thank God, I was in very good health.
If you have ever been poor you may be able to identify with some of this.
We were living in a tiny little apartment, that desperately needed a coat of paint and layers upon layers of dirt removed...which we did....and as we worked I couldn't help but think about where was this baby going to sleep.  How were we going to feed her and take care of her.  And oh yes we knew we were having a girl.  I was thrilled by this prospect, but also scared out of my mind.
I knew how life had been before I was pregnant...being dragged down the street by my hair...that wasn't fun at all.  I can remember making a deal with God. Just let him fall asleep, or pass out.  Please God, I'll quit smoking. (I wasn't pregnant yet.)  What was I thinking making a deal with God?  But he did pass out and we did sleep.  Thank you Jesus and I mean that completely.  I may not have understood all I was doing, but God did.  He had his hand on me.  As the time came closer and closer for me to deliver, we had gotten somethings taken care of, number one being where the baby was going to sleep.  I had an old, antique ring that I traded for a trunk, a flat topped trunk....something like this.

And when this was placed right up along the wall with the lid up and a nice piece of foam covered in a nice snugly fabric, it made the perfect little bed for a new born, And of course I had the lid fixed so it couldn't close and all her little bottles of lotion and bath soaps and ointments and powders, that I thought I needed where all lined up and ready to go...I had picked out a name sometime back...I think it was on a previous trip to sunny Florida we had lived in the very close proximity of a young woman named Johnnie, and I was adamant that should I ever have a daughter I would name her such a name that her nickname was Johnnie.

So my Michael and I spent time trying to conjure up a name, sounds like we were witches, we weren't, that would work...we went thru many ideas and we finally settled on Jonquil.  I thought that this was a name that we had made up, however, I later found out that it was an actual name...but more on that later.
Well March 17th, St Patrick's day arrived as did Jonquil Heather.  What a fuzzy creature she was...and she was beautiful.  I didn't know that babies sometimes arrive with a lot of hair that they usually rub off as the days go by.  Once this occurred her real beauty shone forth.
Now I am not 100% sure what the difficulties may have been in her little system, but we had developed a routine of sorts. For at least a month, Johnnie would eat, throw up, eat, sleep a few hours, poop, and I mean poop, as in projectile poop, and when she eat sometimes we had projectile vomiting,  the pediatricians knew not what to recommend.  Johnnie was gaining weight and we were basically told to keep up what we were doing and maybe watch what I was eating a little more closely.
Okay I was 22, I was with a man seven years my senior, who loved Johnnie completely and I think he loved me as well, although at times I really had a hard time seeing it....like when we sold our little car and he bought silver wire to weave silver rings..The sale of these rings was to pay the rent and buy food...however it went for buying weed...which he was going to bag up and sell, but he ended up smoking most of it himself along with his buddies...not a great picture....

Are you hungry for more of this saga?  Well come on back for the next chapter...

Providence 1975 Chapter 4

Well the road trip hasn't started and I already feel as if I have traveled miles.  Now you may be wondering what I am talking about...so I will tell you.  But first I must ask. Do you believe in providence? Do you know what this word means?  Providence means the following: divine guidance or care, God,  providing for the future.  The part of the definition that I would like to deal with is the first.  I frankly feel that everything in my life that happens, happens because of the hand of God that is on my life.  And because of His guidance, His care and especially His love of me.

I can think back to a time in my life when I was approximately 20.  Great age you might say, but for me it was filled with mystery.  And not always mysteries that I wanted to be a part of.  But at that time anything was better than going home, or so I thought.

It is really sad when our children feel this way.  I had already put my parents thru a wringer you might say. And now I was stepping out even further.  In our last chapter I had told you all about moving from Rehobeth Beach to Lewes.  What an awesome apartment I had and the price was great.

Just before I had moved up to Lewes I had meet a young man.  To me he looked like an Indian, a native american Indian, and to some degree he is.  He is part Seminole. And have you ever looked at a family and thought gees, how did this one or that one get to look the way that they do?  It was as if all the Indian traits of the family landed in this one person.  Well that would be the case.  He had long straight beautiful black hair, very dark eyes and now looking back a somewhat dark spirit as well. But the hand of God was upon me and for that I am forever grateful.  He moved with me from Rehobeth Beach to Lewes as well as his friend.

Now you all need to understand I was a person to experiment, with certain things.  It was a time in our culture where a lot of teenagers and young adults did these things, and I wasn't to be left out.
So yes I experimented, although I didn't get to far gone into the drug scene and I am glad of this.
For me I was mostly a pot head, and that was pretty much it.  However that was not the case with others in my life.

I was still working and supplying the rent money, the food money, the party money, and whatever else money was used for.  We finally decided it was time to move to someplace warmer.  So I sold most everything I owned, except about 80 pounds of various items I had to keep, packed into a back pack, and we walked out of the state of Delaware.
I say walked because back in 1975-6 the state police didn't like people hitch hiking in their glorious state...so we walked.  A very nice young couple, very similar to us, driving a yellow VW bug saw us walking along the road and stopped and asked us if we would like a ride.  We had a ride all the way to Jacksonville, Florida.  Well it took just a bit longer and we made it to Daytona Beach.
This was our first time to Daytona.
We had a room in a not very nice section of Daytona and we were on the mainland.  I had, with a prayer to God answered, gotten a job.  I am not sure that God wanted me to be a bartender, but I was a bartender at the Plaza Hotel...not on the mainland, a good three mile walk to work and then home at the end of the night, around three o'clock AM.  Well it's a good thing I was working so hard because, no matter how bad the room was, I slept.  It wasn't to long into our stay when we were able to get another rental...a bit nicer...Thank you Jesus.

Again it wasn't long and I was finding out that my mate began to display some dispositions that I was having a hard time coping with, but God, protected me.  And I stayed on.

As time went on we decided it was time to move up to Virginia.  This was where Michael's family was from and so we went to visit...all of his family was very kind and I think they liked me...so we stayed for a bit and then we even got an apartment in Manasas'.  A little basement apartment, right next to a little grocery store, not as small as the convenience stores we now have, but not a full size grocery store.  And we where right across from the Manassas Train station.  I just loved the sounds of the trains, still do. Well we stayed there until it started to get cold and of course we had to go back to Daytona.

This time however we didn't have to hitch hick.  Michael had a friend that had a car and we drove south.  This time we were able to get a small top of the garage  apartment on the main land.  And oh the setting was beautiful, I really loved this apartment, try to imagine with me...if you came in the front door of the house and walked thru to the back door, down a few steps and across the yard.  The garage was separate from the house. And actually the whole property spanned the block, so while the front of the house faced one street the back of the property and where you drove into the garage was the street behind the house.  Does this make sense? I can see it in my minds eye. our bedroom was a completely window encased porch, sometimes refered to as a Florida room. And it was up on the second floor, sorta like a tree house.  Can you imagine...

Well I had a job at the Function Junction a "fun" evening spot for those who enjoyed the spirits, the liquid kind.  Michael enjoyed the monies I earned however any opportunity that appeared for him to considerthat I might be being unfaithful was quickly an exploding situation.  But please understand, God had his hand on me...something for which I will and always am thankful.  One night on our way home after my working and Michael drinking whiskey, not a good thing, Michael decided that I was being unfaithfull and decided to start a fight with me as we walked home.  If you are a young women that doesn't mind being dragged down the street by you hair, then this would have been the guy for you.  However that wasn't me.  And I decided right then and there I was going to find a way to leave.

And that my friends is the next chapter.

Providence 1975 to 1976 Chapter 3

So we continue on down this road towards a wonderful Hippie  style classic wedding. 

We had been living together since around August of 1973. And we decided to get married the following year....

I started purchasing Calico material for the brides maid dress' and of course I was planning on making them. We were planning on the wedding being about August...Long Story Short...I got very cold feet! Brrrrrrrrrrr.....

Instead of getting married I left the state.  Literally, I made a few phone calls packed up my stuff and got on a Grey Hound Bus and hit the road to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.  I already had a job lined up,  I had called about renting a room, sorta long term....the old man that answered the phone, was mostly kind, somewhat gruff, but kind.  When I asked about getting a room he wanted to know why I was coming to Rehoboth at that time of year, I informed him I was looking for a job. Immediately he said, "I need a girl, I need a girl!" I had a job as a bartender, I was 19, and not old enough to even drink in the state, but he said don't worry it will be fine.  This from an old Greek, Papa John, as he was affectionately called by most all people in Rehoboth. I hadn't even told my parents I was moving...just up and left...went somewhere, where I knew no one and no one knew me.  I thought that, that was what I wanted.  Looking back, I am glad I had the experience,  but...

uncles, cousins and grandparents all went as a big group to Dewey Beach.  Dewey Beach, for those of you who aren't familiar with the lay of the land, is a bit further south of Rehoboth, actually you can walk to Dewey, bit of a long walk, but is do-able, and Lewes is about 11 miles north of Rehoboth.  Lewes is were the Ferry starts and stops and goes over to Cape May, NJ.

If you have never been for a ferry ride it is a lot of fun!

Ever since I was about 10 years old my family and aunts,  

  So I arrived in Rehoboth and it took about one week for me to acquire any friends.  Boy oh boy was I lonely!  But eventually I did make some friends.  After about another week a gentleman in the real estate business came in and he and Papa John were old cronies.  And the real estate man asked where I was staying and I told him at Papa John's hotel.  He then asked if I was looking for somewhere else to live and I said that I was but that it was a tad difficult since I didn't really know anyone in Rehoboth.  So he said he might be able to help me out a bit.  Well a couple of days later he stopped in and asked if I would be interested in sharing a top of the garage apartment with another girl.  Of course I said yes, however I would really like to meet her first.  So this was arranged.  That Friday I meet Andrea for the first time, we talked for five minutes and the next time I saw her I was moving into our new apartment that was about three blocks from where I worked and the same distance for her to get to her job.

It was a nicely furnished little apartment with a small combination dining area and sitting room, with a sofa bed, which is were I ended up sleeping, it was only fair, she got there first, we had a kitchen, pretty tiny, but it was a kitchen, a small bedroom and a bathroom with the shower on the left as you walked from the kitchen to the bedroom and the potty and sink was on the right with a door, the door being strategically  placed so that when you were in the shower and had the door open that formed a wall to block the shower and bathroom from view....It was tiny!  But it was ours and we were pretty happy there. 

Although, the very first night we were there, I had placed my purse on a chair in front of the window. Now remember I said this was a top of the garage apartment...there were steps that ran up the outside of the garage to a little landing where our front door was.  Well that window was right easy access from the stairs. Even though there was a screen there, that didn't stop whoever was in need of my little purse and it's contents.

Probably close to a month went by before I was called to the police department to pick up my purse that had been found in the canal.  The really rough part was that they had first called my parents, because my driver's license was in the purse, so they called my parents.  I am so thankful that although my youngest daughter has pushed the envelope on a couple of occasions, no one has ever left me thinking that one of my children was possibly drowned.  I can not even begin to imagine how upset my mom and dad must have been. Needless to say I did call and let them know I was alright and that only my purse had been stolen.  I was completely fine, and I would see them when they came to Dewey Beach in a few weeks.  I knew I had hurt them pretty badly and yes I did feel pretty sad about this for quite a bit of time.  

Well the summer progressed, I earned sufficient money as a bartender  to easily pay the my half of the rent, and spend money on developing my pictures.  When I was about twelve my grandfather had purchased a Kodak 110 Instamatic     camera  for me for my sixth grade field trip.  So I discovered that I could buy a detachable lens for this little camera...so of course I bought them, they came in a set, one converted it to a wide angle and the other converted it to a slight zoom.  I was in heaven!  And I took lots and lots of pictures.  This was in 1975, we didn't have digital cameras or smart phones...not yet.  Oh and I bought a 10 speed bike, I had to have wheels!

I had actually started my picture taking endeavors back in sixth grade and my love of capturing a moment just continued. I actually have a website where my pictures are for sale... http://rebecca-smith.artistwebsites.com/ I digress...
being a bartender at a seaside resort is a good way to make money, however, now as I am older I wouldn't suggest it for anyone who is walking with the Lord.  It will undermine your walk if you aren't really really strong..well that's  an oxymoron, if you are a strong Christian, you wouldn't be working in a bar.  

At this time in my life, yes I believed in Christ and God and the Trinity, but did I have a personal relationship with Christ, NO.  Sadly that was not something I was ever taught.

Back to life in Rehoboth Beach....Lots of sun and sand and fun (said tongue in cheek). I would really have to say the best thing to come from my time in Rehoboth was my photography.  
In my spare time I took pictures, I would get on my bike and ride up to Lewes, Delaware and go to the Air Force Recreation Base, the beach there was almost private, especially when you arrived early in the morning, and I did.
Do you know that when the sun is coming up you could probably take a picture every 15 to 30 seconds and every picture would be different.  I probably spent about $100.00 a week on taking and printing pictures. Some were good and some where not so good.  But I was learning.

After working for Papa John as his bartender I was able to land a job making blue jean skirts for a head shop that was just down the street.  Didn't pay really well, but it was a job.

Then there was the Henlopen hotel job.....
The restaurant was on the 8th floor of the hotel looking out over the ocean, and it was all windows.  The views were amazing, especially in the winter.  I really liked working there.  The scenery could not be beat and the tips where quite nice, it was a high dollar restaurant and the food really was good.  One thing that stood out was the oyster fritters served on Sundays only on the brunch buffet.  And we were allowed to enjoy them as well.  Oh, so good!

Shortly after getting my job there I met someone...someone that I really have to say was a person I would have been better off not meeting, however, there were some great learning experience in that time period and one very nice child was conceived during that time as well, but more on that in another chapter...

As I worked at the Henlopen I had also taken on another rental, you have to have heat and our little garage apartment didn't have heat, so I had to move.  And move I did.  I also acquired another room-mate. Living with a room-mate can be a very interesting prospect, and not always fun.  We really didn't know each other very well..but we managed.

After living in this rental for a few months I ended up moving again.this time to an amazing apartment in Lewes, the one wall was completely covered with sounding charts.  It would have been an awesome place to live had I had a car...alas I did not.  I did have my bike and that was it.

It was about this time that I started on my next adventure!

Remember I said earlier that I had met someone...well that will be the next chapter.

See you all then and be blessed.

Providence 1974 Chapter 2

This is pretty much what I thought I was!

I know I know I was actually a little bit passed this time period,  but who is really looking at the date.  There are people I know right now who really are just old hippies and it's 2015!  I digress....

As I was relating in the previous chapter,  I had a babysitting job with an awesome family not really very far from my parents home.  

One day when I was sitting for my little guy, whom I adored, and he seemed to like hanging out with me pretty much...there was a knock at the door, knock, knock, knock.  So I went and checked who was there and there was this man, well built attractive, hippy-ish looking man.

We talked at first thru the door.  Turned out he was an old friend of the family, for whom I was sitting.  So eventually I allowed him to come in and we talked and talked.  We got to be very close friends, we really seemed to like a lot of the same things, the same foods, the same music, although in all honesty I must say that he really educated me when it came to music.  He was a pretzel salesman during the day and a musician by occasional night, as well as a concert musician on some weekends.  

Do any of you out there have any idea how extraordinarily
flattering it is to a young girl, who has "Daddy issues," be treated like a young woman, with love and respect?  He was so kind and so dear.

I was still in high school, but a babysat a lot!  For me it was anything I could find to get out of the house.  While looking back on things I can see plainly that all I wanted was to get away and on my own...after I graduated from high school, I had a job at Bachman Pretzels (and no it wasn't the same company my friend worked at), so I was able to get a small two room apartment in the city.  I thought this was great!

But was it really?  I was so rebellious!  I was dating my friend at this point and it didn't take very long till I gave up my apartment and was living with my friend.  

He had a house that was very old, in the city, was only a few blocks from my old apartment, and within walking distance to many businesses.  Back in the middle 70's most people in that area went to the butcher shop and the farmers market, instead of the grocery store.  It was so much more personal and I really loved this. Plus I loved to cook!  Win! Win!

A fun story about cooking.....

Veal Stew

I had gone to the market and I really wanted to try my hand at making Veal Stew and I wanted to surprise my dear one...so I had everything I needed.  I started cooking and cooking and cooking...first of all I cut up and started with the meat and onions and garlic.  Because I knew that veal, from a shoulder cut was a bit tough I thought perhaps I should get that started so it could cook for a longer period of time.  So it could begin to get tender.

Next I added the carrots and turnips and potatoes and leeks and peas and skinless and seeded tomatoes...any vegetables I could get a hold of went into that stew.  I love stew and still do...any kind and all kinds. 

So while this simmered on our old converted stove, I say converted because it was originally an old wood stove that had been fitted with gas fixtures so that it now ran on gas but there where still the compartments for wood burning, just no longer used.  It was a grand old stove, I loved it and I loved cooking on it.

Okay so the stew wouldn't be stew unless I thickened it. So I got out my jar with corn starch and worked on mixing up my cornstarch and water mixture.  (This is no longer my choice for thickening stew, I have since found much better ingredients for doing this.)  Alright I knew that in order to thicken I needed a nice rolling boil...so I turned up the heat and let things warm up a bit.  Rolling boil achieved so I got my jar with the thickening agents and started to pour them into the stew,  something was going terribly wrong as I was stirring  the stew it started to boil up and up and over and over some more, and I turned off the heat and it kept boiling over and over and I had no idea what was going on!

What had I done?  Think...think....think...

I went to the cupboard and got out the corn starch...I didn't like having ugly boxes in my cupboard and I had a habit of dumping those ugly boxes into my pretty mason jars....let me tell you that isn't a great idea unless they are clearly labeled with what they contain...

Do you know baking soda doesn't thicken stew, but it sure makes a heck of a mess!  And to top it all off....do you have any idea how many parts there are to stove like I was using?  Oh My Goodness....tons and tons and tons of parts.  And they all needed to be cleaned.

Thank Heavens I had gotten an early start, my wonderful musician was not due home for at least three hours.  Now you may think the story ends here, but wait there's more.

I finally had finished cleaning up the stove.  That was one thing accomplished.  What was I going to do with all that stew?  It was a approximately a 20 quart stock pot that had been full...once it had calmed down it was now between 1/2 and 3/4's full, probably closer to 1/2.

I played with some spices and pepper and garlic, do you know that you can not hid the wonderful flavor of about a 1/2 cup of baking soda...you just cant hid it.

So I thought I would just see what my sweety thought of the veal stew.  He was due home any moment. When he got home he could smell the aromas of what had been a delicious soup. and he wanted some, I put some in a bowl and he tasted it and spit it out, you know how when you put something in your mouth and you kinda of have your lips pursed and it sprays everywhere...well that is what happened.  Of course I was giggling, you could say I have a Disney sense of humor...what ever could go wrong, does, and then it gets worse, and of course as long as no one is being injured, it just gets a life of it's own and gets funnier and funnier.   That is what happened; he wasn't angry, it wasn't intentional, it was a mistake, albeit a pretty funny one, once I was able to get thru all the telling of it.  Oh we did laugh about that for a long time, and he was a bit cautious tasting what I cooked for a little while, but eventually  he stopped doing that, much to my great joy. 

So whats next?  

I guess you will have to come back another day and find out!

Providence 1973 Chapter 1

GRADUATION!

Yay God!

And sadly, I must say, that this wasn't being said reverently.  

I was 18 and just graduated from high school. 

For most this is an amazing time! 

For me I couldn’t wait to move out of my parent’s home and out from under their thumbs.  My mother was a bit of a tyrant, who really liked things her way.  And it really didn’t matter whether she was right or wrong, it was only her opinion that counted.

Daddy was great, except he didn’t stand up to mother.  Sadly this was not an uncommon phenomenon back in the 70’s, when there was a second marriage and children involved.

There were times, I wondered what life might have been like had I lived in a normal family…you know, with one mother, one father, one sibling, and maybe a cat and dog thrown in for good measure.

Hmm…didn’t happen!

I had one mother, two fathers, and one sister to start with, and an afghan hound for a dog and then another afghan hound added to the first…do you have any idea, how much effort is required to have a handsome afghan hound, let alone two afghan hounds?  These two dogs where an extremely cruel joke to lay on any child or children, as was the case in our home.

Well I will back up a tiny bit…

My mother first married a career army man, and I frankly think that there was some of the same kind of thinking going on in her head as I had going on in mine when I graduated from high school.  Funny how I just this moment realized this piece of information.

Mother and dad married and shortly thereafter my sister was born.  21 Months later I was born.  When my sister and I were about five and three, we moved to Germany, Munich to be precise.

I can remember there were some interesting times, my father was an alcoholic.  Not unusual back then when you were in the service.

But apparently he took his last drink the day I was born.  And I think this may have been difficult for my mother, when Daddy was drinking she could control him in some ways, that she wasn’t able to when he was sober.  I know that sounds a bit off but, if that were not the case then why did she divorce him after he became and stayed sober?

Mother was the control addict, not daddy.  Mother was the one who decided my sister and I would answer, “Yes Sir, No Sir, Yes Mam, and No Mam.”  To our parents to start, and later to whomever we had contact.

Oh and we had a nanny, a governess, if you would, and someone who was from Germany and who spoke only broken English I believe, to start.  Elsa, someone from my childhood whom I would love to know if she is still alive.  I would love to reconnect with her, perhaps fill in some of the gaps.

Elsa took my sister on many, many, adventures!  We went to the Black Forest and saw where there were huge holes in the ground from the bombs during WWII.  She also hitch hiked, yes with the thumb out, with my sister and I to the October Fest.  She was definitely a very bright spot in our days as children growing up.

And then the sadness of moving back to the United States, my sister and mother and I living with my grandfather, who was an active alcoholic and not very nice when he was drinking, which was most of the time.  And were was daddy?  He was in Indiana.  At the big army base in Indianapolis, IN.

After mother had met a man whom my sister and I thought we had arranged for the meeting, which we really hadn’t, but we didn’t find this out till years later. 

Life did settle down a bit and my sister and I were enjoying life a bit….however we wanted to visit daddy.

And in 1963, daddy had a brief encounter with a fine women, and was then sent to Alaska, more in later chapters, maybe... Mother wouldn’t let us go to Alaska.  But when daddy came back to Indiana we were able to finally go for a visit.

                                                             

I can remember this so clearly.   
We  were able to go and see our grandparents, and great grandma Miller, who was quite old and still living by herself.  What a wonderful visit.  We also where introduced to our stepmother and I believe she was pregnant with a son, our half-brother, when we were finally allowed to go and visit our dad.When we got home we were introduced to Pun-ke that was his short name, and you really don’t need to know the long name…way to long.  This was our first Afghan. 

This dog certainly added a whole new dimension to our lives...this picture isn't of our Pun-ke, but he certainly looked a lot just like him.

My mother was able to get a really good price on him because his very first show, he lifted his leg on the judge.  This was a puppy class, but it still ended his showing days...So Pun-Ke ended up becoming a pet.  Now just try to imagine what a dog like this would need when he was walked in the rain, or better yet in the snow!  This was not a kid friendly dog, at least as far as his care was concerned.  Folks, never ever do this to a child or children, it really isn't a fair thing to do.

A few years go by and bring on Farrah...(this is not actually her, but it could have been...)

                                        She was a lovely apricot afghan who loved to play.  She had been abused, so once again my mother got a deal. Pun-Ke and Farrah played and played and now my sister and I had twice the amount of work....

Time went on, and my sister graduated from high school and went on to nursing school, two more years, I had a little job, I had a bike to get around on and a car at my disposal on occasion.  Was I happy?

No! I was probably pretty miserable as well as miserable to be around.

I had my baby-sitting, and some freedom when I was baby-sitting....

One of the family's I sat for had a friend that wasn't really to much older than I, or so I thought....10 years when you are 17 isn't that big a difference, at least that is what I thought and no-one could tell me any different!

Are you wondering where this is going to go....guess you will have to come back and see!