Respect, Self-Respect, Dis-Respect, Martyr Syndrome

Have you ever considered, and I mean really considered what it means to respect others and/or to have self respect?  I was looking for a picture to go with this post but I think I will start out with a definition instead, so first of all we have the definition of respect. (This is from Merriam)

 Definition of RESPECT (as a transitive verb)

1a : to consider worthy of high regard : esteem

   b : to refrain from interfering with <please respect their privacy>

2: to have reference to : concern

Synonyms: appreciate, consider, esteem, regard, admire

Now let's see what she has to say about self respect...

Definition of SELF-RESPECT

1: a proper respect for oneself as a human being

2: regard for one's own standing or position

Synonyms: ego, pridefulness, self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect

Now for dis-respect

Definition of DISRESPECT

1: to have disrespect for

2: to show or express disrespect or contempt for : insult, dis <disrespected the officer>

Synonyms: affront, dis (also diss) [slang], insult, offend, outrage, slap, slight, wound

So I think that what the dictionary is saying about respect, is that when we hold someone or see someone thru eyes of love, we also are probably respecting them.  Do you hold the people that you love in high regard?  Do you admire them?  I know that I do.  Especially my family members.

Why is it frequently said that we can't respect others if we don't respect ourselves?  I have spent a great deal of time in the last eight hours considering this...I should have been sleeping, but every time I woke up last night I found myself considering these things....I found a link about respect, and rather than reword things, this is the link.  And if you have issues with respect for others and/or for yourself, this is a very good page.

http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-Yourself

Wow! Have you ever had an epiphany!  I have just had one.  As I was reading on this page on wikihow.com/Respect-Yourself, there was a place at the bottom of the page that you could click on and go some place else, to another subject.  The next page I clicked on was:

How to Overcome Martyr Syndrome

I think that over the years I have been affiliated with someone (Perhaps even a little bit myself.) who has this particular problem and hasn't even know it...and I think that I have been confusing it all up with be self-respecting, and disrespectful, and respect!  This reading that I have just done was a real epiphany!  (Oh and just incase you want to read this: http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Martyr-Syndrome )

Pulling ourselves out of the Martyr Syndrome does have something to do with learning to respect ourselves and our own wishes. 

Some time back I wrote a little about the ability to say NO....when we say yes, but really want to have said no, we are working against ourselves.  I mean that we are not being true to ourselves and we are letting others actually control us like a little puppet on a string.  If you feel the need to say NO, than say NO.  This may be the first step for some of us to get out of the Martyr Syndrome.  If however you like being there, then go for it, I myself, am out of here.  I don't feel that I have ever really suffered from this, but I can sure tell you about some others that I have been around in the past, that have definitely suffered from this and I don't think that they even knew that, that is what they were doing.  I believe they got so good at manipulating circumstances with this condition to meet their own needs that they didn't realize they were being martyrs, as well or, as part of their deception.

Having said this, I believe my mother was a great sufferer of this condition, and I wonder if I may have taught others along the way how to have this condition and I myself didn't actually realize I was doing this! Hmmm! Now what do I do?  Any thoughts out there?  Is anyone there...knock, knock, knock...

Come on, I could really use some feed back on this.  But for now I will go and be a blessing to someone today!